Frequently Asked Questions

Q1. How does Faith by Proxy work?

A1. Faith by Proxy works by holding your beliefs, thoughts, superstitions, or ideas for you. Since we’re believing on your behalf, you don’t have to. Our state-of-the-art computer systems can believe anything, even mutually exclusive beliefs. You get all the benefits associated with having a certain belief, without the need to believe any of it yourself.

Q2. What if I don’t believe your system works?

A2. That’s no problem!  All belief packages include the belief that Faith by Proxy works, at no extra cost.

Q3. What about rituals, dietary restrictions, and required bodily mutilations?

A3. Keep your foreskin! We’re believing the religious tenets on your behalf, which means we will also believe all religious requirements have been met. That will free you to eat anything you would like!  It will also free you from time-consuming rituals, and from being forced to mutilate your body to placate an invisible deity.

Q4. What if I only believe one religion is true?

A4. We can believe in as many, or as few, religions as you would like. While we will accept orders for just one belief system, we encourage our practitioners to purchase as many belief packages as possible. Believing in mutually exclusive religions gives you the best chance of pleasing all potential deities.

Q5. I’m an atheist, I don’t believe in Gods, how can I benefit from Faith by Proxy?

A5. Faith by Proxy can be skeptical of any and all religious beliefs for you. Say the word, and we will doubt everything on your behalf.  This means you no longer need to hear every religious claim before you can be skeptical.

Q6. I’m agnostic, I don’t know whether or not to believe in any Gods, can Faith by Proxy help me?

A6. Of course! Our state-of-the-art computer systems are capable of holding mutually exclusive beliefs simultaneously!  Which means we can be skeptical of every religious claim, and believe them with unwavering certainty at the same time!  This allows you to be truly agnostic without the need to study every world religion.

Q7. How affective is your e-Prayer system?

A7. Statistically speaking, prayers submitted through the e-Prayer system are just as effective as prayers submitted through any other method.  However, the ability to submit your prayer to multiple God’s simultaneously should increase your likelihood of reaching a God that actually exists!